Thought and Action

The Chronicles of Loserville May 1, 2010

Lo behold my children of doom, come to papa, he shall give you some worldly wisdom. Free of Cost. So, my last post was Long, Long time ago…No No kids,  its not Kurt Cobain singing. But still, the fact that I went on a hiatus does not makes me less wanted. And you’re gonna see a lot of previously dormant self boasting from now on. So, I was wandering in nowhere land for the past 2 months – Brooding over a lost purpose of getting a decent employment in the second fastest growing economy in the world. And meanwhile, it seems the world has turned upside down.

1. The volcanic fart in Iceland which paralyzed the flying world and brought back the memories of Aladin’s flying carpet like convenience. The Eyjafjallajokull ( Somebody please contribute the pronunciation) volcano threw up ash clouds which closed down almost whole of the European flying space for a good 10 days, once again giving us a reminder of what’s in store for our race. Who knows ‘ The 2012 Phenomenon‘ might be true.

2. The Great Indian Tamasha – IPL started and end with a bang. The toll of victims was 2. Add to it the jawans that got injured by a feeble bomb blast outside Chinnaswamy Stadium, Bangalore. The Indian Premier League, like all other things that are Indian lived upto the bruhaha and no stone was left unturned to make sure it was a success. So, Chennai Super Kings – A team that wear colors that resembles my puke after having food at McDonald’s, won the league and It was ever-exhuberant-to-speak-inglees Dhoni with Mr Shaved Mustache/Eyebrows Ravi Shastri at the presentation.

Brace a thought for Lalit Modi and Shashi Tharoor – The brave slayed warriors of visionary capitalism. Lalit Modi has to be commended for the way he lisped his way to the top and created an empire out of a sport that Indians would die for, of course with the help of his brother-in-law, uncle, aunt and other beneficiaries of the holding companies. Shashi Tharoor, for perfecting the science behind Tweeting and being a fodder for the news-broke Indian news channels. The bottomline is – He is a misfit in Indian Politics. For obvious reasons, he simply can not fit in a rigid, senseless group of people. Like many other educated Indians, he should find a patli-gali and do something of much worth.

3. Param Pujya Shri Shri Tiger Woods Maharaj accepted responsibility for littering around with mere 121 women ! Hats off to the guy ! Thats called Brand Management.

4.  The Roman Catholic Church is involved in decades old and still rampant child sex abuse scandal. Religions divide people, are futile, senseless, contrary to common sensibilities and the major reason why people are fighting each other. The simple fact that they endorse or rather practice celibacy makes them ignorant and stupid enough to think that God gave them penis just to pee. Dude, u could have peed from your ass too.

Okay. Enough of covering what;s been happening. I may start a news channel on my own at this pace. So here I include another B-plan for the future ! Kids ! Its time for some wisdom. Take out your copy and pencils and start noting it down –

1. Learn Iceland’s language. In accordance with recent events, its important that you learn it so that you can make those sounds which may seem something like Icelandic. So, next time you get stuck in Europe, the easy way to get laid is speak some Icelandic and pose as a Seismologist.

2. Cometh IPL 4, there will be contests such as – Who will be the new chairman for IPL 5 ?  Is the shitty commentary by Lax Sivaramakrishnan and the MRF Blimp an act of vengeance by Lalit Modi ?

3. Shashi Tharoor will retire into the backwaters of his beloved Kerala and make strategies and bids for other IPL franchisees.

4. Start Emulating Tiger Woods. He’s the definition for success.

5. Don’t believe in Religions. Believe in Goodness of Humanity. Trust Each other.